Irascible Volatility

My general gif folder is up to 440 gifs. MWHAHAAHAA.

Er. *ahem* I mean. Yay ^^

for the first time ^_^

And I’ve been on here for…a year :)

I knew this would all end in tears.

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make me wonder what the fuck is going in some people’s heads.

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Despite waking up sick and being a grumpy lump all the way out the door, today was a good day ^_^

Got up, packed, grabbed sonic, got on the road, talked with my mate, survived the rain, caught up with my family.

We piled up and went scouting for locations to do senior pictures and ended up on roadtrip adventures!

We ended up hiking, seeing three falls and some cascades and lots of awesome views.

We’re all set for the shoot tomorrow and I think it’ll be a good trip, with better weather, lol.

After a yummy dinner, my mom, sister and I cleaned the offic. I got to listen to my tunes and chat with my family. They’re the original people who accept that I’m crazy and don’t have a problem with it. 

And when we got back home, I converted my sister to a Dean!girl.

June 26th, 2011 = Success.

liked 50 posts :D I’m super stingy with my likes >.>

Other than that, life is boring and icky. I’m sick, I just want to sleep all the time, we had to reschedule a senior portraits photoshoot because it was supposed to rain and it didn’t rain. 

Weather, are you trolling me?

Tomorrow, it better not rain…I’m excited and emotionally/financially invested in this shoot. Make it happen >_>

Workout videos are moving thin-spiration. DO NOT WANT!

Walking-productive. I get exercise and I can crank tunes and work on stories.

Dancing in my underwear in my room-more productive. I get exercise, I crank tunes, I work on stories/characters and I get to do things like this:

So, yeah. I may not be the athletic one in my family, but I can shake my booty like a pro. Dancing > Walking.

So that my husband could go hang with a friend today.

While I clean the apartment.

Instead, I’m sitting here looking at my computer like:

XD

I used to think I’d want hugs, or something like that. But, I’ve got to be honest with myself…I want to shake their hands. I have a hand thing. -drool-

These feelings I’m feeling are rage. RAGE. And disappointment and frustration and at the end of a long day of rage and chill, I’m in rage mode.

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My biological father never wanted me, didn’t marry my mother, made her get a paternity test when she wanted child support, let his family call her a whore and question the paternity before I was ever born, quit paying child support as a graduation gift to me, did not attend either of my graduations or my wedding, hasn’t ever sent a birthday card or called on Christmas, and is deathly afraid of me. He friended my mom on facebook before me.

My stepfather was just that, a stepfather. While I am thankful for the positives that resulted from his marriage to my mother, the negatives will forever haunt me.

So, Father’s day can suck it.

I called my Papa and tried not to cry that he sounds so lonely and tired and scared. He’s dying, meds are keeping him alive, and he loses more of his mind every day.

Fuck this shit.

almost everything my husband-photographer posts.

Even though he was strongly opposed to that Alice-ish photoshoot, or rather my reasonings for it, he powered through and got some awesome shots. Logic prevailed and I ended up not using them for what I wanted them for, but they are great shots that show my love for costuming and my crazy facial expressions and my husband’s talent as a photographer.

Alright, I think last night’s post taunted my brain. Instead of happy dreams and restful sleep, I had nightmares.

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I don’t want to say today has been bad, because it’s definitely had up points. Got to see my sister, had lunch with her, had a few good games of LoL, lots of decent internet time.

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The roof of my mouth is bruised and hurts like dying. Boo.

I’ve had Lorelei the ipod since last October and somewhere along the way I figured out how to make a playlist loop, because my sleep playlist does that. But I’ve never been able to make another one do it…and today I finally looked it up, lol. So, now I can put on my “^_^” playlist and listen to it over and over and over :D

In honor of this achievement, I give you:

That it sounds like my husband’s online friend is flirting with him every time they talk?

Poor thing, my husband is straight :< No man love for you. And he’s not even one for bromances =/ In fact, he seems to have a bromance negating shield. Bromance is not supported in his general area xD

I’m weird because my name is weird. My sister is sociable because her name is normal.

Then how do we explain my husband who has a normal name, but is definitely weird?

I’m going to say that it’s probably because he’s had a handful of names throughout his life and as such doesn’t have a single personality identifier like “weird” or “normal”.

There were similarities the the study pointed out with single parents being more likely to give their kid a weird name. I’m the kid born to a single mother, my sister is the productof a healthy marriage.

I just think it’s interesting to see that my name is both a product of my birth and a factor of my development.

When it comes time to name my own (adopted) offspring, I hope that I can come up with a name that sticks. I don’t care if it’s normal, weird, simple or complicated. I just want my kid to have one name and it to be their name their whole life. I think that’s probably selfish and insensitive to lots of people who function just fine with names not given to them at birth, but I am just stuck on this concept.

Despite my name being complicated and weird and causing all kinds of grief, it’s mine. I own it. I can’t imagine being someone who answers to just anything or a handful of names/nicknames/code words.