Irascible Volatility

I’m scrolling through a tumblr I just started following and I’m like…400+ pages in and all I can think is…I wish I could do something like this O_O Just think how awesome it would be to know that someone is willing to go 400 pages back in your tumblr…if that isn’t quality, I don’t know what it is.

In other news, my pancreas is having a bad day. Don’t know what triggered it, but I’m short of breath, tender and I feel like I’m going to puke, pass out and die. It is majorly uncomfortable, but a little amusing.

How many people have to worry about their pancreas having a flare up? Wacky. :P

Just found out my celebrity crush is a Virgo.

*sob*

Thank god I’m married, or I’d die lonely. T_T

I don’t really understand the term friends. Or rather, I think I get it but the people I’ve been calling it are piss poor examples of the word.

To me, a friend is someone who matters to you the same way you matter to them. They share, you share, you have common interests and you value each other as companions.

My “friends” only care when they need something. And they don’t talk to me unless they’re trying to prime me up for some favor they need.

I used to be an ear and advice when things got rough for them, but I’m not even that anymore.

I’m being treated as muscle, or the +1 you need so you don’t feel lonely. Except, it’s only a physcial presence because they don’t talk to me, they don’t share interests with me.

For god’s sakes, get a dog and quit bothering me. Go play with your real friends.

Job hunting. Sleeping. Seeing Priest. ((Let me just add that it rocked my socks, and not just because Kurban is rocking the Black Hat.)) And going through peoples’ tumblrs. I have no idea if that wording/punctuation is correct, but it gets the point across.

I just had a moment where I was like..why do you only have 58 pages for me to scroll through? What will I do with the rest of my night? D8

But wait, I opened a ton of fanfic tabs, so I’m set for a few more hours. x3

Had a moment today where I did a little dance.

That moment when you realize you won’t ever accidently text a certain person again because they aren’t in your inbox because they haven’t texted you in months. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

~~

Saw someone post that they realized they have a thing for British men between the ages of 30 and 40.

Not me, lol.

Current top celebrity loves are all over the place. New Zealand, my backyard, England. And that’s just the three floating around in my immediate celebrity love pond. When I collect celebrity crushes, I go shopping around, y’all. ;)

Tonight I got my opinion of someone off my chest without worrying that someone would ignore the relevant parts and just think I was hating.

I survived another week. Got lots of positive things in my life to be happy about.

And I’m happy ^_^

Also a little sleepy, and antsy. I want to get out, walk, run, ride bikes, swim, roll in the grass, tumble in a wrestling fashion without anyone getting hurt.

And I don’t want to do those things with anyone but my husband.

One day, we’ll have a nice lady in our life that I want to include, but right now, I’m happy with it being just the two of us.

I have a couple of good friends, a great family and a husband who is perfect for me.

I am happy.

And I would like to wake up and it be Friday morning. My surgery will be done, my annual exam will be over and paid for. I’ll be healed and feeling good for a b-e-a-utiful weekend.

Make it happen, cosmos.

(Cross-posted all over the place, because I think everyone who knows me should read this.)

     I wish that everyone could see me the way I see myself. If they did, I wouldn’t have days where I wished I was something I’m not.

      I see myself as beautiful. I have wonderful proportions. My hips are wide and curvy. My shoulders are rounded and gentle. My hands are medium sized and extremely proficient. My scars are delicate, well placed and sparse enough to prove that all but one are accidents. My legs are long and shapely. My butt is beyond spectacular in shape, size, and position. My feet are big and give me a stable foundation. My ankles are of average strength and are very nice to look at. My chest is perfect. My belly button is adorable. My stomach is average, in a warm and fuzzy kind of way that makes me easy to hold and hug. My back is exquisite. My face is rounder and gentler than it was in my early years. My eyes are bright blue, grey and green-versatile. My eyelashes are average, they grow the way they’re supposed to and they protect my eyes from funk. My nose is average and the perfect canvas for my quirky little nose stud. My lips are just big enough. My teeth are teeth colored and straight enough for modern conventions, but imperfect enough to look real. My chin is small and rounded. My cheeks are clear and smooth and look ridiculously adorable when I smile or blush. My jaw is steady and strong. My eyebrows are separate and natural. My forehead is safely in the range below huge and above freakishly small. My ears are functional, small-ish and cute. My hair is ever changing, but always healthy, clean and well kept.

      The fact of the matter is, I have a wonderful body and it keeps me going. There is so much that I do on a daily basis that wouldn’t be possible if my functions were inhibited by a less that awesome body.

     And don’t even get me started on my mind. My non-physical self is beyond spectacular. Sharp, intelligent, witty, humorous, demanding and understanding.

     I am wonderful.

 Now, if I could just convince everyone else to see me.

See me without the filters that modern society has imposed on us.

In your mind’s eye is a vision of a woman. She weighs around 100 pounds and the only bits with any meat on them are surgically attached to her chest or sculpted on her backside. Her legs are a certain length and shape-closely resembling Barbie. Her eyes are large, her nose is small, her lips are plush and seductive or small and cherubic. Her stomach is washboard flat and her hip and collar bones are not just obvious, but painfully so.

I appreciate that that woman is beautiful, but she is not the only beautiful woman in the world. STOP judging every woman based on an artificial, photo shopped, unhealthy beauty.

Start appreciating humans. Real, honest to goodness, fleshy and imperfectly perfect humans.

And you can start with me, because I’m deliciously wonderful.

This is a terribly boasting post, but I want you all to know that you too are perfect. Each and every one of you is delightfully you and as such are wonderful. Know that you are loved and you deserve all the love and praise you have received, will receive and should receive.

Though I may never post on your page or pictures, know that I have appreciated your beauty if I’ve ever had the good fortune to lay eyes on you.

Even if every person in the world can’t appreciate the beauty of the natural world and it’s glorious inhabitants, some people do.

-Jalene Clemons

I read somewhere in a discussion about tumblr that some people get all rage-y when they go to create a tumblr and the name is taken. I thought about “Irascible Volatility” and the fact that I have yet to use it…and I flinched. If you really want this name, let me know. And bless your heart, you must be as crazy as I am xD

As for this tumblr: I don’t know what to do with it! I like following stuff, but I don’t know if I want to do the quasi-personal half blog, half variety re-post format that many favor. And I’m not nearly dedicated enough to think that I could produce a single subject blog of any quality, especially not starting out.

I may try my hand at either or neither. Time will tell.