“Obama thinks everybody should go to college like he did. Well pardon me, your highness, but some of us weren’t handed a ticket to Harvard by being the biracial son of a single mother on food stamps. Must be nice. Rick Santorum understands the REAL American Dream. That if you work hard enough, your children can have fewer opportunities than you did.”— Stephen Colbert [source] (via gigglemonster)
Woman:I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Woman:I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Woman:Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government:Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman:It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Man:For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government:Do you have a penis?
Man:YES, YES I DO!!
Government:WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government:But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Government:Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
I am fuming. As a former waitress, I know how fucking hurtful this is. Does this even cover the credit card fee that the server will have to pay? This is fucking ridiculous, vindictive and mean. Being a server IS a real job. And if everyone had “real jobs” who the fuck would serve asshats like you, jerk?
“Fan fiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don’t do it for money. That’s not what it’s about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction. They’re fans, but they’re not silent, couchbound consumers of media. The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language.”—